Connections
Throughout our journey with Alex butterflies were a symbol of life, of hope. Following his death, they became reminders of his presence, that he was still having an impact in and on our life.
Our first day home from the Ride and this is what we see. Hundreds of butterflies in migration, all around home.
Connections?
Group 1: Distance Cycled – Today 100 km, Total 2,087 km
Distance Shuttled: Today 0 km, Total 4,596 km
Group 2: Distance Cycled – Today 100 km, Total 3,515 km
Distance Shuttled: Today 0 km, Total 3,272 km
Me: Distance Cycled – Today 100 km, Total 426 km
Distance Shuttled: Today 0 km, Total 690 km
Events: A quick stop at Peggy’s Cove, a reception and speeches at Halifax Shopping Centre, final ride to the finish line at Point Pleasant Park.
Weather:
Highlights of the Day:
The ride home, the glory leg. I feel honoured and a little guilty riding in with these cyclists who have crossed the country. Yet it is an amazing feeling simply to have participated in a ride like this, raising substantial sums of money and more importantly awareness of the challenges of childhood cancer.
Before I arrived, I expected today to be a tough day, more for Peggy’s Cove than for Halifax itself. Frances, Maddie, Ben, Alex and I came east in Summer 2005 on one of the better trips of our lives. We spent some time at Peggy’s Cove and particularly at the Flight 111 memorial, which commemorates those killed when the SwissAir plane went down in this area. Then, Alex, Maddie and Ben ran around the vast expanses of granite at Peggy’s Cove, enjoying the sunshine, waves, and natural beauty. We have amazing photographs of the kids from that day. We had little sense of what was to come. I can see Alex jumping around on that day in 2005, but I can also see him today doing the same thing amidst the beauty of Peggy’s Cove and I am at peace with that.
We arrived first at the memorial, which has a sense about it of beauty, serenity, calmness, peace. It is a barren place if one looks at it that way – battered by hurricanes and Atlantic storms over time, there are few trees on the landscape. Boulders are strewn haphazardly about, between the granite bedrock. When the fog rolls in, it can be cold and damp. Yet between these barren pieces, one sees life struggling on to survive and thrive, it shows us its rugged beauty, and in that we see something to be learned. Life is Beautiful, Life is Good.
Despite the tragedy, there is a sense for me that this place might be very close to God and that those who died can find peace there.
We followed on to Peggy’s Cove and unfortunately were unable to get right down to the cove, the lighthouse, and the granite. But we had a minor miracle there, as one of our Pacific rocks, destined for the Atlantic but lost yesterday was discovered. That small pebble amounted to little in itself, but represented the load that was being carried on this journey. It needed to find its home in the Atlantic. The joy that came across its bearers face as he learned it had been found, brought tears of happiness to my eyes.
We continued on towards Halifax Shopping Centre, where Frances was waiting. We were joined along the way be Nicole whose knees were killing her from the previous days’ rides, to finish off the journey. I was so happy that she was able to ride to the finish with us. As we pulled into the shopping centre, I saw Frances and the tears started to flow. It is not the finish of our journey by any means, but this does represent another step accomplished in honouring our little superman and bringing an end to the suffering of other kids. We shared a long embrace and a really good cry; I couldn’t let her go and it was so good just to hold each other.
After some speeches and a quick bite, Patrick Sullivan and I had the honour of leading the team out towards IWK Health Centre – the Halifax children’s and maternity hospital named for its benefactor Izaak Walton Killam. IWK is one of the C17 hospitals which collaborate in cancer research across Canada. Patrick and I pulled to the side as we arrived, Josh deserved the opportunity to show these people what could be accomplished beyond cancer.
We walked into a beautiful, peaceful play garden – just the sort of place that kids and parents need as they navigate the rocky shores of cancer or any other childhood illness. While the speeches began I gravitated towards a little girl who was perhaps four years old and her mother. I simply felt the need to speak to them and perhaps that I might be able to offer something. Breanna was clearly a cancer patient with patchy hair and a thin build. But she was full of life, eating cake (against doctors orders) and bouncing on her chair like a trampoline. Her mother told me that she had neuroblastoma, a brain cancer, and that she was to begin a new protocol on Monday which had shown very good results. They had been in hospital almost for a year straight.
I told her about Alex and she said that she could not even imagine life without Breanna. All I could say was, “then don’t”. I know that there is no benefit to that sort of thought, one’s entire energies have to be focused on life. And I couldn’t help but smile as I continued to watch this little girl just be a little girl, enjoying the garden, the cake, the outdoors, the bouncy chair.
I managed to get her, in her brand new little girl writing, to sign my jersey. It was beautiful, a mix of capital and small letters, some sideways, some way bigger than others, some crooked, some straight. I am so happy to have her name right next to my heart.
As we left, Breanna and her mom left the garden with us. I tried to get a picture with her, but she would have none of it – I was just a boring old guy on a bike. Then Patrick managed to get her to search for some really cool pictures on his Finn machine. Again, the little girl managed to come out despite all of her troubles.
We left and headed for the Atlantic, a little 5 minute ride downhill in Point Pleasant Park. It was a nice way to end the journey but I was less emotional than many others. They had accomplished a much bigger ride across Canada and deserved to enjoy the moment. For me, this is another step in the journey that is not going to end soon.
Someday, I can see myself completing the whole ride and that will be an accomplishment to look forward to. For this time, I leave with many things that I won’t soon forget. In three days, I met and got to know many people that I hadn’t known before. They are great people and I am glad to have this to share with them as our friendship grows over the years. I am in awe at the work that the volunteers always put into these events, without seeking any of the glory that the riders get, and in fact deflecting it constantly to the riders. I worked hard to get through the incredible modesty of many of these great people and make sure that they knew how much I appreciated it. The organizers of SNKCR each year take on a massive logistical challenge to move a convoy across the country, hitting their timing within no more than 15 minutes one way or the other, making sure sponsors are happy, and stroking the egos of prima donna cyclists. Does it sound like something you would want to do? And yet, they come back for more because they believe in this cause and in their ultimate goal, and nothing will stop them. Thank you all.
I loved being on the road with my cycling partners. It is a joy to spend several hours together on the road, working as a team to move everyone together safely to the finish, chatting, sharing stories, getting to know each other. I was so happy to be able to tell Alex’s story to a new group of people. It is our way of keeping him alive and ensuring that he has a legacy in this world. I know that he now will inspire a whole new group to do great things. So the cycling ended, but there are more stories to tell.
In the taxi in Toronto, on the way home. The weather reflects my sadness at having finished SNKCR. It was only 3 days for me but felt so much longer in all the best ways. It’s like returning from camp - you go in knowing few people and leave with so many new best friends.
Thanks to all for a fantastic journey.
Thanks especially to the crew who do not get enough praise for what they do. It is not possible to praise them enough. All I can say is thank you.
Next year - same time, same place??
Group 1: Distance Cycled – Today 182 km, Total 1,987 km
Group 2: Distance Cycled – Today 150 km, Total 3,415 km
Me: Distance Cycled – Today 195 km, Total 342 km
Events: Sears Moncton Home Store
Weather: As good as it gets. Sunny, light west wind, 20 degrees
The ride today traced the route between the home towns of two of my great friends and Team Axle members Karl (Freddy) and Darlene (Moncton) Burnham. Dar has been a member of Axle for 3 years and is among the best cyclists on the team, keeping the boys honest on Vinegar Hill in Haliburton and elsewhere. Karl is new to the team this year as a cyclist but has been working the volunteer side for a couple of years. The team is happy to have him both for his interesting personality and the fact that he is yet another big body to draft behind.
The day began before dawn, at 5:30 with a starry sky above and a great breakfast in the Sears store in Fredericton. The gang at the store were amazing, beginning with the warm welcome last night, then staying overnight at the store to ensure that we had washrooms to use and in several cases beds to sleep on. For many, it was the first real bed they had slept in since September 6. There may be a mattress sale at Sears Fredericton this week – have no fear dear customer, everyone was well-showered. Our final gift from the group was a great, though early breakfast in the store.
Then we headed for the bikes.
Before we begin every day, there is a dedication to a childhood cancer survivor or one who has died. This morning we heard a lovely letter from the mother of a child named Maddie who had died, giving thanks for all that had be done for Maddie by people at camps, in the hospitals, in the foundations. Maddie had the opportunity to experience so many good things in the months leading to her death, and that is an amazing thing for any child.
Fiona gave a little dedication to Alex and spoke of the slideshow that I showed everyone in the RV last night. I wanted my friends to understand something of why they were doing the ride, maybe a touch more than they had already embraced. By the time it was done, we were all in tears and my new friends hugged and held me, and let me know that our little man mattered in their life. It is so important for any parent to know.
The people on this ride may, in some cases, start thinking of it as a great physical challenge for a great cause. By the end of it, everyone is converted and understands that the cause is what it is all about. I’ve met many great friends here, but have loved spending lots of time in the RV with Carlo, Brad, Fiona, Sharon, Sherie, Christine, Roger, Jennifer, and Wayne. I’ve loved being on the road with my buddy Robin (Quadzilla 2) and many others.
The ride started with the sun coming over the horizon, dawning a new and beautiful day that we had the great opportunity to experience and LIVE. Indeed Life is Good. We spent the morning tracing the path of a river and then the heights over Grand Lake on mostly good roads, and a few bad ones. By lunchtime at 1:30, we had 163 km in the bag and mostly felt great. We had yet another great lunch, then began the journey into Moncton, another 32 km that had us approaching the 200 km mark. We finished at 195 km, and a few of the group did a few more turns to hit 200 km. I was more than happy with the 195, and though I still felt fresh, was happy to leave it at that. There will be another day for 200 km, and if there isn’t, there will be few days as glorious as this one. We had the sun on our faces, the wind at our backs, gorgeous scenery in our sights, and a great group of people who I now call friends helping each other towards a common goal. It does not get any better.
I will leave you with an email that Frances sent to me this morning, talking about today and the frenzy leading to her getting to the airport:
Subject: Beautiful Day
Here I sit in the car just having picked up groceris for Maddie. I’m thinking about the trip to Halifax and what it all means; how I will fell; will Maddie be OK; how is Ben doing; where you might be right now and how you are feeling – a lot of different thoughts and feelings racing through my mind. As if Alex was trying to calm me and let me know everything is, and will be, fine – Beautiful Day (Len: one of Alex’s favourite songs) starts playing on the radio. Constant reminders that he is never too far from us. Hope the ride is good today, lots of love. Jigs and Kisses, Frances.
This came after my experience yesterday morning, as I stretched in Sears prior to getting on the bike for the first time, Alex’s favourite song American Pie came over the store speakers.
We know that he is always close, helping to guide us in our ongoing journey.
Our journey through cancer started suddenly. Families don’t get a chance to prepare for the journey. There is no planning for it, mental or physical. You are plunged into a terror and you have to learn a whole lot quickly. Your personal life is thrown apart as well. For Alex, we learned late at night of his malignancy and after a short sleep woke up to our new life.
One of the rare blessings of this unwanted journey, however, is that you learn how much people care for you and will do for you. As my sister said to me, it is like being able to attend your own wake; most people don’t get the opportunity in their lifetime to know how much people in your life really care.
Team Alex came together within a day of Alex’s diagnosis. We did not make a meal for ourselves for another six months. Maddie and Ben were always well taken care of, taking a big worry off of our shoulders. We always knew that someone was there to stay with them, take them to events or school, act as surrogate parents. Team Alex was made up of family, friends, acquaintances, people we barely knew or didn’t know at all.
This team morphed into an amazing fund- and fun-raising group. First as Team Alex and later as Team Axle, we have now raised about $600,000 towards kids cancer charities. It is an amazing accomplishment that I am so proud of. More than that, this group has continued to be our closest support group and friends that we have lots of fun with. We are luckier than we know.
Group 1: Distance Cycled – Today 144 km, Total 1,805 km
Group 2: Distance Cycled – Today 260 km, Total 3,265 km
Me: Distance Cycled – Today 147 km, Total 147 km
Highlights of the Day:
A beautiful ride along the south shore of the St. Lawrence River, from Quebec City eastward through Montmagny, St. Anne de la Pocatiere, and St. Pascal. Then a 440 km shuttle to Fredericton, arriving late tonight at 11:00 PM.
Today was the first day of my ride. It was wet on the roads, but we missed most of the rain. The water only came up off of the tire in front of you and we were quickly wet and chewing grit. But the ride was beautiful and it was great to be with the team. They welcomed me easily. I tried to stay back out of the way for the initial part of the ride so as not to mess with their karma. But after the first rest stop, you could see that the fatigue of a long trip across the country had set in for a number of the riders. So I was happy (well sort of) to head up to the front for the rest of the ride and do my turn pulling riders forward, in particular the tandem with Josh and either Mark or Roger aboard.
Today, it was Roger who was on with Josh. I was amazed by the amount of work that the two of them had to do together. It is a heavy machine to pull up a hill and they were working hard. But neither complained a bit. Josh soldiers on despite his challenges, and is always looking to do more. Often, it seems, Drew, Rina, Mark or Roger have to pull him off the bike when he needs a rest . Unfortunately, Mark hurt his knee before the ride even started out in Vancouver. I believe that he is hurt more than he’ll admit but he continued to take his turn on the bike throughout the trip. Roger is someone I’ve really enjoyed getting to know better. He understands and embraces the whole concept of what we are trying to do. He continually deflects attention and praise towards the kids, but his contribution is huge. I look forward to spending more time with him at Tour for Kids and maybe future Coast to Coast rides.
We finished the day with a fantastic dinner put on by some Sears associates in St. Pascal. It is the simple welcomes that people provide that you really appreciate, especially after a long day on the bike.
Then we shuttle for 4 and ½ hours to Fredericton where we were met at 11 PM by an amazing group from Sears holding candles aloft, and several firefighters and police with lights flashing. It was a nice welcome after a long day.
